Oh, Kansas City

I had a dream.

I had a dream you were telling me something.

You were telling me all about where you live, where you’re from.

You wanted me to send you letters every now and again, so you gave me the address to your apartment.

I woke up with my heart throbbing, my head pounding, wishing I could remember exactly what you looked like so I could dream about you again and again.

I’m really into you.

And I miss you, every day. Every single day.

How can I see you?

We’re so far apart… And I don’t know how to find you.

You made me feel like I wasn’t alone, I wasn’t just anyone–I was someone. To you and to everyone you knew, I was someone so special, someone you couldn’t ever dream of letting go.

But now, I don’t know where you are. I’ve never felt so helpless, so painfully, painfully helpless. I’ve never felt more alone and empty.

I had a dream where he brushed me off, but you didn’t. You made me… Whole. You picked up what he didn’t want and dusted it off and made me better.

How do I convince myself you’re not completely gone from my life? How can I convince myself you weren’t just… Anyone I’d meet?

There’s something important about you, otherwise… You wouldn’t have come into my life in the first place.

I miss you. I hope fate is telling you I do. I would if I could…  I could just fly there and tell you. I’d write you letters and that would be on every envelope. I’d show it off like a tattoo on my arm. I’d tell you every night before we hang up the call.

The world doesn’t need subtlties–ambiguity isn’t easy to understand. I wish I could scream it to the world and you could hear it all the way over there, where you are, where I want to be.

I miss you. I miss you so much.

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