Red Plaid

October 26, 2017

His button down—it was red plaid. I swear I could never forget it. When I thought I’d never see him again, after I thought I’d lost him to the tangles of fate and time.

What bittersweet and vicarious relief floods my heavy heart.

Just another day, right?

Just another day in the life.

But days like these are meant to give you a chance to breathe, a chance to step back and not worry, even if just for a second. They’re meant to put a smile on your face if you hadn’t worn one for a long time, caught up in the hustle and bustle, the stresses of mundane cycles and repetitive and useless conversations.

I love that feeling I get sometimes, that feeling of what the future might hold, that skippy, heart-racing feeling I get when I think of what happiness lay on the path ahead, what company I’ll be graced with.

It puts a smile on my face after having not worn one for a long time.


Of Candor

October 21, 2017

I wonder if you feel young again, if being around “younger people” reminds you of the foolish tendencies you may or may not have had in high school, however long ago that was for you.

You say it’s been so long for you but, in fact, it’s only been a few years, even though a few years is plenty of room for life to change.

I wonder what life was like for you. I want to know, tell me all about it.

Recall those embarrassing stories and anecdotes from your youth. Paint a picture for me to whirl and twirl in, a picture of where you used to love going to play your favorite sports, hang out with your favorite people. Lull me to sleep in your arms with the songs you used to listen to.

I want to know. I want to know it. I want to know you.

Table Tennis

October 19, 2017

It’s true that you can bounce back from an all-time low, even if you’re not getting the full effect.

It’s true that your poor face can break out from stress, your hairline can bead with sweat, but you can still feel as confident as you didn’t believe you were.

It’s true that despite what you might believe about yourself, you are more intelligent than you give yourself credit for.

And it’s not a matter of convincing others of those realizations—it’s convincing yourself.

The Sky is So Clear

October 17, 2017

It’s like a flat, solid-colored backdrop in a photo studio. It makes the buildings look photoshopped into the skyline, their cubical, mirrored faces reflecting the dull sunlight behind me. There’s not a trace of clouds as far as the eye could see over the horizon or hidden amongst the sparse downtown verdure.

It’s vivid and clear, like nothing could distort the perfection of what undoubtedly lay before my eyes, what story unreeled beneath me, surrounding me, making time itself slow to a gentle cruise.

When something like this manifests itself in my life, I’m astonished. I run, fearful for my life, my sake, my sanity, but all the while fascinated. Fearful, but fascinated. In disbelief of such a catastrophic yet constructive force of human existence. Terrifying, yet inhumanly beautiful.

Thrillseeker Chronicles

September 30, 2017

These four I would jump through hoops for, that’s for sure, this lovely company I’ve had the fortune of spending my entire life knowing, growing through every stage with.

They probably don’t know it. I know I haven’t outright told them. I daresay…

I love them.

They certainly don’t know that, but I do, I care about them. I can only remember getting along with them, formulating devious, diabolical and delinquent plans with them, building epic pillow forts, sharing expensive hobbies, making short, indie action films with what we could find in the old toy bins.

We started school together, phased through the angsty metalhead days together, graduated high school together. We’ve seen each other at our absolute worst and our fighting best, and continue to be present in each others’ lives whether by twist or manipulation of fate.

Even though we see each other but once every blue moon for a short amount of time, it’s like no time has passed at all. Just a simple “how’s life?” and we’re already caught up on each other’s lives.

We wander around quiet, sleeping neighborhoods at night, loitering under bridges by the bayou with graffiti covering the posts and sloping ground. We take short errands trips to buy batteries to power the flashlights we need to explore the area. We come together over a mediocre rated R movie and great wings for lunch, or rated R horror movies and halo-halo. We share each other’s bad experiences that taught life lessons as we grow out of adolescence and into the real world where our mistakes could cost us. We complain about our lives and the stupid people in them, we used to have sleepovers just so we can stay up all night playing console games until our eyes stung with exhaustion. We share hysterically funny stories of our shameful mistakes, insane classmates or roommates, our parents’ embarrassing tendencies.

I think, somewhere in the undercurrent, we love each other, whether profound or not. I hope my heart is not wrong about it, but I don’t feel the same way with any other people the way I do with them. I feel safe with them. I feel at home with them. I think, I know, that if the world came down to an apocalypse, I’d survive with them, we’d bend over backwards for each other.

I don’t know what I would be without them.